It's a girl

"It's a girl!" they said,

everyone overjoyed,

They flashed the news

on the front page of the tabloids

her birth was celebrated

she is born with a silver spoon

she must be so beautiful

we want to see her soon

"It's a girl!"they said

their faces dropped instantly,

they prepared to discard her

and made such plans openly

She was found in a roadside bin,

counting her last breath,

her loss wasn't mourned,

and she died a lonely death.

(Aishwarya Rai, the bollywood actress gave birth to a baby girl and it was celebrated like never before. But this is an exception. Usually, in our hypocrite society, birth of a girl is a matter of concern than a joyful occassion. I only wish that each girl is as fortunate as Aishwarya-Abhishek's baby)

Image credit : Tumblr

Amruta

Old and New

Colours

Confront your own shadow

Afternoon siesta

Sunset

Playlist

Today,the road from Mumbai to Pune seems different. Not because I am travelling on my own in a bus,unlike other times when I am accompanied by Dear Husband (DH) but only because there is something else that is accompanying me today : songs and lyrics...
I put on my headphones and the first songs that I hear is : musu musu haasi; a song that depicts college time romance,innocent-not-so-complicated love;love that reminds me of my college years (also because it is shot in Fergusson College)..life was much simple then..love meant just 'love' without any hassles and complications and dilemmas..love during that time had yet not become synonymous with having a boyfriend or a girlfriend. The usual practice of 'dating' or 'going around' was not so popular...Falling in love really usued begin with smiles and love letters , and phone calls on the landline phone were the most popular modes of communication....such was the 'Pehla Nasha' of love....I remember ,that even in the absence of gadgets like mobile phones some of would easily remember where their loved one would be.....those days,one had no way of letting the loved one know that she/he would be running late,but yeah no one would mind waiting.In fact,waiting made the hearts even go fonder. A dear friend of mine made her boyfriend wait at the station for almost 3 hours every time..and it is not surprising they are now happily married !
Just as I have crossed Lonavala my mind is wondering how I used to feel empty after listening to the song 'Bheegi Bheegi' from Gangster....
When I heard the song first time, I had completed 3 years of my relationship...things were settling down...each other's moods,habits,thoughts and even weird ways were somewhat familiar....it was a period of change: the era of cellphones had begun with full swing. Some fortunate souls like us had started using cellphones...communication was more frequent so were the unnecessary complications...I saw so many of friends getting in and out of love;breaking up ,patching up,mourning lost relationships,going on a rebound spree,dealing with a difficult and over possessive partner and much more...I guess the 'pal main hasaya pal main rulaya' phase and 'bheegi bheegi si raatein' was something that everyone could relate to...Shaan's 'Tanha Dil' was also round the corner....and we did not know where would these phase in love lead us to...
I have now browsed my playlist and chosen a song that I know,must be a dream song for many: 'Aye Udi Udi' from Saathiya
I remember how that for the first time made me realize that marriage can be the next step for a relationship...I am sure, many girls and boys of my age must have found it as a good movie to relate to...they must have watched it with their loved one,hand in hand, and must have looked at each other with same adulation as vivek and raani had in their eyes....
Hum jo chalne lage,..chalne lage he yeh raaste...
A fairly recent song from Jab We Met takes me back into the world of possibilities...
Possibilities of career,higher education,aspirations and need to make a mark in this world...possibilities of reshaping the relationships, holding on to the loved one even in the time when everything else in life was changing....When the 'Calling of the unknown' was strong and uncharted roads were inviting with open arms...how difficult it was to romance anything else but life!
Separation was sweet during this time...while walking on the separate roads to reach personal roads the words 'tera na hona janne kyu hona hi hai.....tum se hi...'reminded many that life was not only about running in the rat race but also about enjoying finer moments with the loved one....
I am approaching Mumbai now....I need to get back to reality...the 'real' playlist of today reads a full time job,a full time husband,home and family, a tight schedule and deadlines,work pressure and fomality...
But I know , when I hit the real playlist,it reminds of my choices and dreams that have turned my sweetheart into a husband,my career aspirations into a full time job and my life into an enjoyable journey....
Amruta
Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone

Silvassa and the Art of Doing Nothing

In the recent movie Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara, Arjun is very scared to enter the deep blue ocean as he does not know how to swim. Laila , his diving instructor helps him to come over his fear and Arjun manages to dive deep to enjoy the glimpses of underwater wonders. When his friends tease him and ask him what was his learning from the whole diving experience, Arjun says 'just inhale and exhale'....

Arjun's sarcastic yet real words made me think hard about the crazy times we all live in. Our lives are constantly oriented towards 'achievements'. As if every action that we do has to have some concrete outcome. We live our lives bordered by ideas
such as 'one should utilize every living second meaningfully and constructively' in order to be truly successful. This is almost considered as a ground rule for life and if we do not produce an 'output' then the whole act is equated as a waste of time'.

These days, we are all rats in the race. Our time is 'money' and spending time 'doing nothing' is probably considered a modern day sin. But there are also lots of people who believe that ‘ doing nothing’ is also an art.

I got a first hand experience of why 'doing nothing' . Last weekend, I visited Silvassa , a quiet capital town in the Union Territory of Dadara and Nagar Haveli, sandwiched between the states of Maharashtra and Gujrat. It was an unplanned trip by me and my husband H and an escape route from the stressful work and lifestyle.


We left Mumbai on Friday night and unlike other times where we would drive ourselves, we hired a driver. When we drove past Andheri and Goregoan through the jampacked traffic and reached to Dahisar , the official border of Mumbai , I looked back at the city and sighed with relief. I thought the next two hours would be full of fun with me and my husband sitting behind and talking till we reach our destination. But the real fun began when we crossed the Ghodbunder road and the rain gods started their weekend fun.


I had read Silvassa is just 2.5 hours away as it is around 180 k.m. from Mumbai. When we pulled over at near a Cafe , assuming that we had reached close by, people in the Cafe they told us that we are still 150 k.m. away from Silvassa. When we were on the NH 8. , hoping to reach to Silvassa quickly it started raining so heavily that we could hardly see the road before us. The visibility of the road was extremely low and at one point of time, Sunil , our driver barely managed to save our car from falling down from the bridge. To top it all up , we did not have any idea of where exactly we were. Finally, after 2 hours of maddening rains we reached the town of Silvassa and managed to find our resort.


The next morning , we both woke up to the sound of rains. As I got out of bed and stepped in the balcony, I realized that our room was overlooking the Daman Ganga river. Daman Ganga was flowing with full force with its water in shade of dark maroon from the silt and mud it had carried the entire night. Between our room and the river , there was nothing else except a small garden with tall mango and ashoka trees. We spent the next one and half days in our hotel room doing nothing significant. We sat in the balcony and looked at the rain without any purpose. We looked at the dark clouds and smelt the scent of wet trees. We skipped showers and lounged around in our home clothes…We laughed, shared our thoughts and also enjoyed silence together. We had not carried a camera to click photos, there was no rush to finish food in given time, no rush to wake up and go out for sightseeing, no compulsion to dress up, no pressure to make anyone else happy.

Now I realize how essential it is to just 'be' and not do anything for a while. Throw away your 'to do list' , books, music players , camera and cell phones. Just sit and relax. Stare at the sky, rivers, trees, people , ocean.....just do nothing more than inhale and exhale for a while and feel the change !

(image from here)

Thoda Hai , Thode Ki Jaroorat Hai...

As I hum these lines, I am reminded of the desire that we all have... the desire to wish for a 'little bit more', a 'few extra things' in life. I can recollect that how in our daily lives we tend to feel that just a little bit more will give us more satisfaction. For example, when we order a pizza or a sandwich we particularly ask for 'extra cheese'; Pani Puri or Chaat is always followed by a free Masala Puri; buying vegetables is incomplete if we do not get that extra bit of discount etc. Market around is full of such deals that offer 'more' than the competitor, be it deals on electronic gadgets such as mobile phones, television or even groceries. Remember Shah Rukh Khan's advertisement ? 'Thoda Aur Wish Karo, Dish Karo'? I think in today's competitive world, almost everything except poison has some extra offer attached to it !

This desire present in most of us is not only ignited when we are buying 'things', but also when we are dealing with personal and professional relationships. No matter how much salary hike we receive, somewhere we feel that we deserved more and things could have been better with that extra bit of cash. On personal front, no matter how much a person loves us, we feel that we are entitled to more love and affection.

But has this desire to always wish for more gets us into trouble? Or is it something that aspires us to keep us on our toes, look for better things in life and most importantly stay away from complacency?

Hold on to that thought....and don't scroll down, I have nothing 'more' to offer in this post..

Amruta

Yes we are Superwomen, but where are the 'Supermen'??

Today on Star Plus, they showed a rather beautiful 'Star Plus's Anthem' dedicated to the woman of today....This piece was very beautifully directed...It open's up with a pretty looking woman doing zillions of tasks at home..She is shown as a wife who wakes up next to her husband early in the morning, unties herself from his hand delicately and jumps out of bed to make tiffin for her school going daughter....She is a good 'Bahu' who keeps an eye on her diabetic father in law and stops him from having that extra spoon of sugar in his tea...She then turns into a naughty wife who hands over the towel to her husband who is taking a bath and not to forget the little peck on the cheek after that…She dries saree's with her mother in law on the terrace, gives a flying kiss and warm smile to her office going husband….She is expert in the arts too…She takes up Katthak lessons and moves her feet to perfection!

But don't mistake her for a shy stay at home mom…she steps out of the house- she is a part time teacher to the poor children, she helps to push the Rikshaw of the poor and old rikshawwalla….She doesn't even shy away from mediating in a traffic congestion…..

She is a home maker and a TV anchor….She is finishing up her job while her family decorates the living room for her birthday….But at the last moment her boss begs her to do one more news report and she being the 'perfect' person she is doesn't let him down…..

She comes home late and sees her family asleep on the couch..but she bursts the balloons and wakes them up to celebrate her birthday and to spread that extra bit of joy!

The Star Plus has thoughtfully (!) ended the whole 'anthem' as they call it by showing her standing in the cold on a terrace , looking towards the stars while her husband comes in the frame to drape a shawl over her shoulders….

While the anthem and maybe its description may sound very heartwarming to the viewers/readers….I asked myself…Is this humanly possible for any women to be so perfect? Is it possible to be a perfect wife, mother , daughter and career woman at the same time? Isn't it too much to expect from a human being…

Though I know the 'anthem' is symbolic, I wonder what sort of symbolism are we trying to portray? That today's woman is suppose to be a superwoman, a caretaker of all, a person who juggles work and home with élan and never complains??

My bit of reading on gender issues tells me that ever since women started claiming their space outside home; things became easy and difficult at the same time for them. Stereotypes of 'hard core career woman' had received a negative connotation and being a 'stay at home mom' or a 'home maker' was also looked down upon……At the same time I feel , there is tremendous pressure on women of today to 'have it all' or rather to 'give it all'..She is suppose to be a highly educated, intellectual career women and still she should know how to be a good wife and mother…..A woman who balances both the spheres in today's world is the helm of everything!!

But I often wonder, why is there no pressure on men to be a 'superman'? It is still oaky for a man to be a hard core careerist person who goes to meetings, has stress, travels a lot and earns money…and his efforts to contribute at home like doing cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping and parenting skills are highly overrated…

Men still don't face the pressure of multi-tasking as women do…..Is that why we are being told that we should be good at the 'balancing act'?

I do understand that under any circumstances we have a choice…we have a choice to chose the type of life we want….But at the same time what messages are these tacit 'anthems' trying to give?

I wonder if the Anthem is conceived and directed by a woman or a man!

Hold on to that thought….

Amruta