Embarrass yourself and learn to like it!

Link

Reading old posts is indeed embarrassing. I am reminded of the overexcited , naive and innocent girl who used to think that the world is so complex yet beautiful. Today, when I read the posts, I am reliving my thought process, before I abandoned this blog.

Should I delete the old posts or should I not? For the time being I think I will keep them. Just to remind myself how I have changed over the years. 

Amruta 

A View From The Top

source: weheartit

Rat Race! Yes that is what it is called...Now a days, every article about busy life in metro cities is incomplete without the mention of the word rat race. We mention it as if it is an inevitable verb, something we cannot do anything about and something we all have surrendered to...

I wake up and till the moment I sleep, my mind constantly keeps on worrying , multi-tasking, sorting, prioratizing and worrying some more. When I complain about this to people, their responses are pretty standard. "This is the reality of life" or " what else do you expect from life in Mumbai" etc. But no one has a solution, or no one can really say they "know" exactly what needs to be done to escape from it. 

And trust me , if you are part of a rat race, no matter how much you try to bring some empty space in your life and some balance, you are always defeated by the fast pace of the race.

Moments like these, make me wonder whether I consciously signed up for such life. 

The answer is yes, I did. But then why is it that the fascination and enigma of a "I am busy because I am important" fades away? Why is it that you realise that the fun of mad rush is fun only untill you do not realise the emptiness in your life?

One question is , what do you do to still keep yourself alive in the rat race. Should you be like a machine or should you try to find creative ways in which you can steal some moments for your self. The answer is never easy., and I bet no one has found the exact answer yet! 

But I think it is still a great achievement if you realise the true state of your life. If you realise that you are part of rat race, a race that will only take you to a finish line but won't let you enjoy the journey, maybe that can begin a new thought process..

Then, maybe someday, you can learn to steal some moments from your life and look at the view from the top....look at the other people rushing through the fast lane...and just simply stare and enjoy the moment.

Amruta.

Life post Blackberry

Ha! So I finally gave up my much loved and treasured blackberry.

It’s been almost 3 whole weeks since I have started using my new Nokia E-5 phone. It’s not basic, but it is not a very advanced phone either. It is fuss free, battery life is efficient and so it’s fits my requirement perfectly. Ever since I bought the phone, I have been thinking about writing about my switch from blackberry. Here it is :

1.    I am completely hand’s free:
Since blackberry is so prompt enough to deliver Emails and BBM’s , you kind of never give your fingers and hands a good rest. I no longer pull out my phone, browse emails (thought I have installed Gmail on my phone, just in case) or I no longer have to worry about ‘what if I miss an important email or bbm?’ . My phone comfortably sits on my desk and troubles me only when an sms or phone call comes.

2.    I have started looking at things around me :
Well, it’s not that I have been an absolute type A kind of an addict of blackberry, but I must admit that lately I used to browse mails and bbm’s even while I was walking , waiting in a queue, inside the lift, while travelling to work. Now I have more time to look at things around me and that’s quite nice.

3.    Have you ever come across someone who is constantly looking at their blackberry while talking or listening to others? Well, now I do not have to be that person.

4.    I am actually finding time to read : With no pressure or access to emails all the time, I am back with my books. Now with a dedicated time to access emails and chat with friends, I think I am more productive.

5.    Social Networking? Now I know why technology and social networking goes hand in hand. Earlier, my ‘friends’  and me on GTalk and BBM used to chat frequently, and I somewhere confused it with ‘friendship’. But after my last message on BBM to ‘friends’ hardly anyone has bothered to keep in touch (minus some lovely real friends) through an email or a simple SMS or phone call. What does it show?

My interpretation is that it just shows that because you are not accessible through a particular gadget like blackberry or platform like BBM , they are no longer interested in taking that extra step. Actually this is an irony of most social networks, and it is about time we (means those who are very active on SN sites) started rethinking about social networking as a medium of communication with ‘friends’.

It’s time to ask ourselves how many birthdays do we remember without Facebook reminding us? How many friend’s phone numbers do we know by heart? How many of us really know what our outer circle of friends are upto, if there is not social networking sites or bbm updates?

I think watching the green light in front of friend’s names on GTalk or seeing their photos on FB or updates on BBM gives us a false idea that we are in touch with them.

But this does not hold true for me.  I think that is the biggest lesson I have learnt in these three weeks.

The fact is , phones are just phones, and social networking or internet on phone is for convenience and emergency, not to keep your friendships or relationships alive.

So that’s my three week update about my life post blackberry.

Would you give up your fancy-social network connected-3G internet enabled phone??

-    Amruta

Breaking Up With Blackberry

Credit

 

While I am typing this blog post, my blackberry is quietly sleeping inside the pouch. I have switched it off ! Because I do not want her to hear what I have to say “ I am breaking with my blackberry”

It’s been on my mind for a long time and it’s not an overnight decision taken out of boredom.  There are many reasons why I am taking this step. Even though I am quite sure, Harshu (The Husband) is getting irritated with me vocalizing my need to change my phone , I think it’s time to irritate him more and switch over. 

Reason 1 : It’s a time waster.

While I completely understand that gadgets don’t rule you , and you need to keep a tab on how you use them, I don’t think I am disciplined enough to ignore the flickering red light and frequent beeps made by my blackberry. Any time of the day, it is calling out to me, tempting me to read all the emails (including the silly spam messages of winning a billion pound lottery!) I know I can simple chose not to read it or read it when I have time, but to be honest that never happens. I simply cannot do away with the temptation of reading it then and there. 

Reason 2 : Anti-Social Networking

Up until three days ago, I subscribed to ‘complete internet experience’ by having web browsing enabled on my phone. Which meant that I could browse facebook, twitter and use google whenever I wanted. I also used the BBM (Black Berry Messenger) service to keep in touch with ‘friends’ with frequent small chat messages. I realized that though the purpose of social networking is to ‘connect’ with people, very frequently I have had people in my ‘friends list on facebook’ who are no longer fitting into the ‘good friends’ category. On BBM, though I have couple of close friends, I would like to connect with them better than just forwarding jokes and typing silly ‘Hi’ messages! I feel if you want to keep your relationship alive with a friend, isn’t it better to call the friend once in a while, instead of ‘liking’ facebook status or sending a BBM and having a small talk about nothing in particular?

No matter how much you talk to a person over internet, it cannot be compared to a telephonic talk or meeting in person. And blackberry is in reality not bringing me closer to people , but taking the relationship to a new artificial level. 

 Reason 3 : I do not need internet to stay alive.

I am a major internet addict. A day without internet seems empty for me. But I wasn’t like this few years ago. I used to spend limited time on internet and could take out time for my other passions like reading , photography etc. Lately, I have just been a couch potato browsing internet at home and pretending that it’s my hobby. Well you can cultivate hobbies online like blogging , but I haven’t done that much either. So I guess it’s time to cut down on internet and to move from virtual to ‘real’ life.

In any case I have to be online 10 to 5.30 everyday in office and I think that is sufficient enough time to do work online and also take care of personal emailing. 

Reason 4 : Blackberry cannot become your alter ego!

Actually it applies not only to blackberry but also to any other smart phone. We are living in a superficial world where people judge and impress others with their phones and not qualities. If you see a modestly dressed woman or a man walking around with a blackberry or an expensive phone, you immediately think ‘oh he/she must be really important to have a blackberry or a smart phone’. Why should the price of a gadget determine your worth? Why shouldn’t it be the other way round? 

I think to some extent this holds true for me as well. Though I do not judge people based on their phones, I guess when I reply people from my blackberry it gives me a slightly devilish pleasure that I cannot describe in words. And that’s exactly what I want to get away from. 

Phones or any gadgets are for our convenience and it should in no way define who we are. 

Reason 5 : I can deal with a basic phone!

I try to go back to the basic question as to why we need phones in our lives? I need phone basically to call people, to send SMS, to have a calendar and calculator handy . That’s it ! I can check emails on my office or home laptop and that would be sufficient. In any case my work does not involve any urgent situation where I have to be on mails 24 X 7. 

My mom said a very funny thing the other day. And it really made a lot of sense to me. When I told her that I am planning to switch to a basic phone and give up blackberry, she said “ Go ahead! In any case when you call people from your fancy blackberry , it does not mean that you get to hear something magical. Any phone would let you hear human voices and let you send text” 

So I am sure this is a good time to ‘break up with blackberry’ and I hope it’s for good!

-          Amruta

Don’t we all have such moments?

I stand on the edge of right and wrong, wondering what really defines these words. I mean what is right for me can be wrong for you. What is wrong for me can be your right. Who defines these things for me? And if I am the decider then that’s great because I can twist and turn the words the way I want, I can label my deeds as right or wrong as per my convenience, right? After all, who is going to watch me? Who is going to stop me?

With my arrogance, I take a step ahead. I sink into the sin. I come up and float on shallow waters. I fool the world and prove my innocence. The world nods and lets me go. I return to the shore. I am not afraid to look behind, because I know I have won the toughest battle.

As I sit alone, basking in my glory, I realize that while I was busy in fooling the world, I forgot to fool my soul.

My soul which shadows me wherever I go, which feels things even before it strikes my mind.

My soul that defines me. My soul which will carry these scars forever.




- Amruta






Image credit here

Not just there yet !

wait is about to end...
end is in sight....
I have walked many miles
to see how everything feels 'right'

It's a girl

"It's a girl!" they said,

everyone overjoyed,

They flashed the news

on the front page of the tabloids

her birth was celebrated

she is born with a silver spoon

she must be so beautiful

we want to see her soon

"It's a girl!"they said

their faces dropped instantly,

they prepared to discard her

and made such plans openly

She was found in a roadside bin,

counting her last breath,

her loss wasn't mourned,

and she died a lonely death.

(Aishwarya Rai, the bollywood actress gave birth to a baby girl and it was celebrated like never before. But this is an exception. Usually, in our hypocrite society, birth of a girl is a matter of concern than a joyful occassion. I only wish that each girl is as fortunate as Aishwarya-Abhishek's baby)

Image credit : Tumblr

Amruta